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| 12:26am 03/10/2004 |
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mood:  silly
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i just remembered one more thing for the list..for some reason i really like horseshoe necklaces and charmbraclets |
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| birthday |
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| 11:43am 02/10/2004 |
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mood:  predatory music: harder to breath
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ok so apparently everyone wants me to put up a bday list...so i will do so just for you guys. but it will be more just stuff i like and then i will leave it up to you to fill in the rest.
i like....
-cows
-candy
-that scary monkey with huge eyes at dry ice
-monkeys in general
-bright green slipper socks from target
-purses that have a shoulder strap but not too long
-perfumes anything that smells good
-maybe a pear necklace...hehe
-jewelry i love it all
-superman
-anything that really just reminds you of me, or that you think is really funny something like that
and if there is anything specific that you would like at the birthday party please just tell me and i will inform the allison, pat, and andrea. |
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| sorry |
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| 12:30am 24/08/2004 |
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mood:  tired
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my bad i messed up with that quiz thing |
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| im trying |
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| 01:27pm 23/08/2004 |
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mood: bored music: away by yellowcard i love them
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ok so im trying to be good about updating. alright well i dont really have an eventful life, so this is gonna be boring. well first of all i just want everyone to know i <3 pat. she rocks my socks. hehe. alright so i went to the pool yesterday and that was refreshing. but isnt a pool always refreshing. alright so i have this big thing with rain...what i mean by that is i wanna swim in it and i wanna play tennis in it so if any of you people would like to join me on either occasion than just tell me and we can have a shit load of fun in the rain. alright so i get back on the 31st so i think we should have a party or something before school starts. its just the right thing to do. and for all of you that dont know i am in fact trying to move out to vegas...and i have this big plan that i will tell everyone when the time is right. ok well i will be going. xoxo. |
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| its me |
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| 04:14pm 19/08/2004 |
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mood:  energetic music: she will be loved
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hello all! how are all of you doing? im fine. i went to a battle of the bands on saturday, and this huge fight broke out. it was amazing i mean this one guy got hit in the head with a bottle and then when he hit the ground someone hit him and then a whole bunch of people started kicking him. then one of the people that were kicking him got pulled back and he started to fight with the security and they sprayed him in the eyes with mace and that happened to somebody else too. then the first guy that got sprayed in the eyes with mace was being handcuffed and then he started to try and kick the cops so they had to jump on him and handcuff his legs together. it was crazy. i mean insane. other than that my life is boring. so keep me informed on what you think of my life. oh ya and the bands were good to. |
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| today |
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| 09:35pm 28/07/2004 |
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mood: crappy music: only the music in my head
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alright well lets start this out with hi how are you all doing? anybody want anything? i think ill have my life with a side order of shit cause thats all it seems to dish out. i would like to thank nicole though for being there and making me feel better. oh and of course abbey for taking me to get a milkshake. but ah who knows maybe life will get better but with my luck it wont. nothing really has been going on lately. abbey and aunt lori have been working. katy is in cali. trevor hanging out with friends, and me i have been talking to shawn and been sad and frustrated at the same time...with my mom. she is just so frustrating. i mean she wont even try to see it my way. but i dont really wanna get into it because it will make me sad again. so i think thats about it. i will talk to ya'll later. bye bye. |
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| im back |
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| 09:26pm 26/07/2004 |
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mood: depressed music: way away
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ok so im sorry i havent updated in a while but i am now, and its just going to be complaining. alright do you guys ever notice that when things are bad i mean when you hit a little bit of bad luck it always seems to stay with you until you cant take it anymore? or how about this one. have you ever gotten to the point where crying seems like a paradice to you? i mean it feels like all you can do is cry and maybe just maybe things will feel just a little better, but of course you dont cry because you gotta stay tough i mean what will people think if they see you just sitting there crying for no reason? ah but you know that its gonna happen soon it just will. something stupid will just get you going. well thats me right now. i dont think i will be alright for a while. im just a messed up person. depressed again by news that hasnt even come to me yet. why does life have to be so hard? why cant it always be chocolate chip or butterscotch? and theres no one i can talk to about it that will not think that im overreacting. i guess thats how it always goes. only you can know how you feel and you cant really put it into words all the time. whats wrong with me? why does this happen to people? depression i mean. for all of you all that didnt know ive gone through this before. it was like this for like a month i think. not really anyones problem but my own. hell with all the attention i was getting at home my mom didnt even know i was sad. she was so wrapped up in having fun with matt. i guess thats how life bites you in the ass. there is always someone more important than you in the way. whatever im gonna get out of va one way or another i will. i dont care if i have to get a job and buy my own plane ticket, but im gonna get away from it all. somehow. its killing me and i know i sound dramatic but im not being dramatic it is. and i dont mean physically im dying but i mean from the inside im turning into the next corey. you will probably see im on the side of the road somewhere trying to get money for my next beer...ok maybe that was a little dramatic. well if she doesnt say yes now when im 16 im legal and i will get out of there. i mean is it so bad to want a better life? i think that it isnt that much to ask for. my mom was robbed her happier life when she was a kid why should i be robbed of it too? well i guess i should stop now. im sure i will talk more about this later. buh bye. |
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| hello |
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| 09:27pm 28/02/2004 |
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mood:  cheerful music: college girls are easy
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hello peoples! im having an ok day. i guess it was some what productive. i mean i went shopping and bought a lot of my spring clothes which is a good thing because i dont have a lot of those. oh and i got some really cute pants, but that is not important. anyway ive been feeling better lately which is also a good thing. i have a bad grade in math, and i got into world lit. well there you go that is my school life. i hardly have a personal life or at least one that is interesting to talk about. oh man but this up coming friday i actually have something to do. im soo proud of myself. im going to my friends b-day party. which will be great. sweet 16 is always the best. ok well im done babbling now. bye bye |
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| bad memory |
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| 08:36pm 25/02/2004 |
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mood: energetic music: stacys mom
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i have such a bad memory. let me just remind myself to do something
updateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdate
i think ill remember now |
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| i love pudding |
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| 04:48pm 16/02/2004 |
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mood:  blah music: stand up
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alright so for anyone who actually reads this boring stuff i decided to update. sorry its been so long, but im lazy. i want to get out of this house i think that im going insane. of course im not going to go into details on what else is wrong with me because you people arent my psychiatrist...not that i have one. i dont. still i dont want to sit here and complain. ok so i already am sitting here and complaining. whatever. so i guess life isnt to horrible. and other than that i dont have an exciting life. actually my life is boring and im not going to bore myself writing about it. so ya. im going now. later. |
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| long day |
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| 09:18pm 25/01/2004 |
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mood:  embarrassed
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today was a long and embarrassing day. has anyone ever done anything and then afterwards wondered if they should have done it? well that is how i feel today. i did something but now i dont know if i should have done it, and i cant talk to my cousins about it because they arent online. which makes me sad because i really need one of them to talk to. well im going to go and stop rambling now. haha nicole i did update! |
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| why wont she leave?! |
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| 05:26pm 20/01/2004 |
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mood: quixotic
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alright peoples allison is here and she refuses to leave. i mean its bad enough that she molested my butt and all, but then she just wont leave. j/k. she doesnt have to leave. now shes begging for java ice. lol. j/k again. wow im on a roll. hehe. alright im not going to say anything else. alright bye bye now.
P.S. Never eat raw cookie dough thats been sitting out for about an hour. It tastes gross. |
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| do they really think that a subject is optional |
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| 01:56pm 19/01/2004 |
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mood: bored music: none
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hi peoples! nicole has told me that i have to update everyonce in a while so here i am updating. i dont really have much to say but i dont think that it really matters what i say. i mean i could talk about how toasty i like my toast and i dont think that u people would really care. so anywaz...i think i will go into story time. thats right story time. so if u peoples dont want to hear a completely made up story than dont keep reading. its as easy as that. alright now where to begin..ah i think i know.
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It was 7:30 when i woke up. I rubbed my eyes grudgingly. "Whats wrong with me? Why am I up this early?" I questioned myself. In reality I did know the answer, but it made no sense to me. You see lately I have been waking up terrified. What was it that kept waking me up was beyond me. I couldn't remember a thing. All I know is that I have woken up scared half to death for five days now. Of course i refuse to tell my roommates about all of this. They would think I was insane for telling them that all I can remember from these horrifing nightmares is a face. A cold emotionless face. His eyes are pitch black, his black hair is long and unkept and it hangs down covering some of his face. Well there is no point in obsessing over anything right. "Oh great another cold, and rainy day." Its awful when it rains it signals that I'm going to have a bad day for some reason. After I got ready for work I went out for a walk, and then I went to work. By the time I got home it was 10:00 already. Unusally no one was home. Jeff had left the door unlocked again. I hated that anyone could just walk right in and take whatever they wanted. Granted we didn't have much of value, but there was a few things. As I walked to the kitchen i noticed that there was mud all over the ground. "Oh great! Maybe somebody did actually come in this time. Jeff's going to get it this time." I paused, and looked around the living room everything seemed to be in place. "I must sound like a loon talking to myself." I walked upstairs to my room, took off my scarf, and shoes. CREEEEEEEAAKKKKKKKKKKKK! My head darted around the room. I could feel my heart starting to beat faster, but there was nothing in sight. "OH GREAT! I've really gone bonkers now. Freaking out over the house settling. What will the neighbors think? What am I saying those crazy bastards would probably be proud of me." I giggled a little, and started to head downstairs when it came again. CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK! Once again my eyes shot around the room in every direction, but since I just turned my lights off it made it a little bit harder to see. As I started to reach for the light switch I saw it. I saw the pale face appear from the darkness. His eyes never leaving mine. His black hair coming down in knots around his chin. If I were smart I would have run, or screamed, or something but no I stood there watching him come closer to me. It was like my feet were superglued to the ground. By now he was a arms length away. Finally my feet started to move; I started to run. Not only did I run, but i grabbed things in the hall and threw them at him. This unfortunately did not make him happy. None the less it did not surprise me that when he did in fact catch me he threw me down the stairs with much ease. After tumbling down 15 stairs I could barely move let alone get up and go for the phone, but I still pushed myself up. The pain in my ribs was like 20 knives being thrown in my chest taken out slowly and then stabbed back in for shits and giggles. When I did finally get up I couldn't walk on my left foot because the bone was sticking straight out of my skin. I looked back up the stairs to see him smiling. I thought he was even laughing. Slowly he moved down the stairs. I pulled myself along the wall towards the kitchen. Ha! I got there, and I even got the phone. Im going to be saved. I thought to myself as I dialed 911. "911 emergency how may I help you?" The voice of a young woman came on the line. "Please help me. There is someone in my house. He is going to.." His hand felt like a brick as it hit the phone out of my hand. I started to back away towards the living room. "Take anything you want just leave." The next blow came to my face. The blood that came from my upper lip was warm. I started to reach for something anything. Finally I felt something. It was a vase. Perfect. I swung it around and broke it along the front of his face. It was as if he felt no pain as he pulled a peice of glass from his forehead. Now he hit me once, twice, three times before i hit the floor. A few seconds later, and he was down next to me contemplating how he should finish me off. In the end he decided to strangle me. His hands were ice cold as they gripped my throat. I had to save myself, but how? I went for it. I dug my finger nails straight into his eyes. His hands pushed mine away, and then I kicked him in the stomach and he fell over. Slowly I start to crawl for the door; when he grabs my legs, and drags me back. This time he didn't slowly start to tighten his hands around my neck he did it quickly. Tears rolled down the side of my cheeks. I could feel the urge to fight for my life, for my last breath fading. In this type of situation they always say that your life passes before your eyes luckily it didn't. That probably would have made this situation worse. The last thing I remember seeing was a wide grin on his face as he saw the color going from my face. I opened my eyes again. "Where am I?" I asked a man. "Why shes finally awake. Did you sleep well sleeping beauty?"
"Where am I?"
"Why your at Ocean View hospital love. How ya feelin?"
"How the bloody hell do you think I'm feeling? I thought I was dead."
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alright im done boring you. dont worry i wont do that again. well bye bye. |
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| ah i have a journal |
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| 09:41pm 18/01/2004 |
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mood: energetic music: its going down
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hahaha. now u guys are stuck hearing about my pathetic life. ah now all of our lives will be complete. anywaz my day was ok except for that small case of hate. ya see matts serving it like a three course meal. but u see the thing is im not hungry. lol. i make myself laugh. which is a sad thing indeed. other than that im sitting here right next to nicole and shes listening to music that i didnt illegally download... anywaz tonight is movie night and we still havent made pudding which is a sad thing, but its ok the pudding will be made. so if u havent noticed yet i like pudding, and thats ok. right so i dont know what else to say. i doubt that u guys wanna know really personal stuff so im gonna go. ahh i have a journal! |
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puddingeater's journal